Run to Impress, Run to Obsess

 “Are you sponsored?” I get asked this question quite a bit when I say I am a competitive ultramarathon runner, especially when people find out about my accolades. “No, not yet.” And while I would love to be sponsored to help me pay for this incredible sport that I participate in, I find the methods that companies encourage to gain sponsorship, namely posting on social media, to be disingenuous and burdensome. 

Throughout this ultramarathon season (2023) I have not been as joyous in my running. Instead of running to allow for solitude, prayer, escape, joy, freedom, and strength I am now running to impress. Unfortunately, I attribute some of this to a growing emphasis on trying to compete well and post enough on Instagram and Facebook to attract sponsors. Like ultra marathoning, gaining sponsors has become more competitive. And unless you are Courtney Dauwalter (which let’s face it, most of us will never be that fast or that badass) sponsors do not typically come to you anymore. 

As I was told by one running company, most companies like to sponsor runners who have a strong social media following. I understand why. They need an athlete who will help them sell their product. I totally understand the economics of it. However, for me personally this method of attracting sponsors seems disingenuous and has recreated a burden I wished to never carry again—running to impress. 

In high school this is all I ever did. I ran to impress my way to college running scholarships. An injury put an end to that my junior year of high school. For which I am thankful, because when you run to impress, you will run to obsess. I spent three years obsessing and wrecking my body to get “enough” workouts done and eat “right.” As I wrote in my blog post “Running with Passion and in Disorder,” this was a very joyless time of my running career. Now years later I find myself returning to this mindset despite knowing how horrible it is. Why? Because I need more miles! I need more social media posts! I need more accolades! Now as I have shared before, obsessing is, unfortunately, a very natural pursuit for my brain (I mean “obsessive” is in the title of my mental health diagnosis). However, I would argue that the pressure to get sponsors and keep them has allowed for unhealthy mindsets and personas to develop again in my life and, perhaps, in other runners as well.  

When focused on sponsorships not only will joy in the sport slowly diminish, but I would also argue that it creates an unhealthy focus on self. It is a reasonable argument that social media has attributed to creating a more self-focused culture. In posting about my workouts, I sense myself becoming more self-focused in my running and posts. I have heard it said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I would totally agree, but so is focus on self. The moment the focus of my running becomes me and what I can do (running to impress), the joy in the sport will vanish (running to obsess). I spend tons of time deciding on how to make a good social media post that is sponsorship worthy, which results in me becoming the center of my running.  And that brings no joy, because like it or not I will always be disappointed if I am the focus of my running. My joy, motivation, and strength can only be found in running when I stop focusing on myself and merely run for the glory of the One who made me to run.

Now if you are a potential sponsor reading this blog, yes, I would love to have you sponsor me! But I would argue that the sponsorship system has become burdensome and a façade. So I have chosen to stop pursuing sponsors. You can call me unwise. You can call me old school. But I would rather run my miles with curiosity to know what I am capable of than as a chore. I would rather run in pure enjoyment than make it the next “perfect, shareable” post. I would rather run races as an adventure than make it a performance. So I choose to run in solitude, prayer, escape, joy, freedom, and strength.